Working through the emotions of a painful break-up is never easy. At your core, you usually know you’ll make it through, and you’ll be okay, but in the beginning, it can be so difficult and sad. For some people, it can take weeks or even months to move past a break-up, but once they do it’s like an awakening occurs. If you’re now at the point where you’ve closed the book on your previous relationship and you’re ready to move on then, it’s probably time to ease back into the dating scene.
Here’s a look at some basic tips and advice that will make getting back into dating much smoother and enjoyable.
Create a List of Priorities
Not everyone is a list person, but if you are then it certainly wouldn’t hurt to make a list of priorities. These are things you want to find in a partner that you’re not willing to compromise on. They should be big items, not little things. There’s nothing wrong with being picky and holding out for the right person, but at the same time, no one is perfect so your priority list needs to reflect this fact.
Don’t Pin Expectations On the Next Person
It would be great if the first person you date ends up being “the one” and the person you connect with, but that’s a lot of expectations to place on someone. Frankly, it will also take away from the fun and enjoyment of dating and getting to know different people.
Rather than worry about finding a long-term partner, focus on meeting new people and making new connections. By allowing things to happen organically you’ll see a huge reduction in the amount of stress you feel.
Give Online Dating a Try
One of the best and often least intimidating ways to ease back into dating after a break-up is to read reviews on Top 10 of the various online dating sites. People often feel like the online environment gives them a bit of protection, with more control over who they engage with and when. You don’t have to meet in person to have a conversation, you can first get to know each other in a neutral environment online.
The pandemic helped make online dating sites even more popular since people were focused on social distancing. And while that phase of the pandemic is over, technology has now made its mark and transformed the way people view dating. You can technically have a date in an online environment, meeting over Zoom or any other video chat platform.
Keep Dates Light and Fun
If you’re ready to meet in person and go out on a date, be sure to keep things light and fun. Planning an activity-based date can be a wonderful icebreaker and ensure there are no lulls in the conversation. It also helps to alleviate the pressure and stress you are probably both feeling.
Some activity-based date ideas can include:
- Amusement park
- Local fair or carnival
- Live theater show
- Bike riding
- Hiking
- Rock climbing
- Cooking class
- Wine tasting
This list should start to inspire you and will last well past the first few dates.
Make It a Group Date to Dispel the Fear
No matter how much you try, dating may just sound too scary and stressful to you. A good compromise can be to start with group dates so you don’t feel as much pressure. Going out as a group of friends who are in couples means you’re likely to have at least a couple of people to talk to, so there’s no need to feel uncomfortable. Even if you just go out with one other couple, it can help things to feel less scary.
Don’t Feel Down About a Bad Date
Here’s advice that is much easier said than done. If you have a date that doesn’t go as planned and there isn’t a connection, you mustn’t take it personally. You’re not going to magically connect with every other person out there; it’s just not possible. If a date doesn’t work out, not to worry as it just means there is a better match out there. It doesn’t mean you did something wrong or you need to change.
Remind Yourself Nerves are Normal
The final tip is to remind yourself nerves are normal and okay. It doesn’t mean you should scrap the idea of dating, it just means that you’re a regular person with regular feelings. There’s a good chance your date is feeling the same way. Dating experts tend to suggest you find ways to stay busy before the date so you have less time to over-think things.
Dating Doesn’t Need to be a Stressful Thing
If you’ve convinced yourself that getting back into dating is going to be stressful and overwhelming it’s time to stop, take a breath, and a step back. All of these tips will help you to ease back into things in a positive manner.